Goodbye 2005... Hello 2006

So another year has come and gone. My, my, how time has flown! To end this year, I'd like to make a list of my hits and misses...

 

Career

Yessirree... I changed jobs again this year, to a whole new field. Was in IT for a good 3 years, and made the leap to education. Totally hated what I was doing and was really wondering what to do, when a friend suggested I try for her son's private school. Am teaching high school Physics, and the very first week I was there, I was burdened by exam papers to mark... Workload complaints aside, for the first time I really enjoyed my job and have never found anything so enriching. Of course I still have a lot more to learn (and I am not talking only about rereading my favourite Science subject)... such as better teaching methods and how to deal with teenagers. Fortunately I don't have a problem getting through to most of them as I'm quite close to them age-wise.

Career satisfaction (out of 10): 6 (for the whole year. The first half-year still has to be counted. It's an average of 3+9)

 

Dancing

Hmm... this is a rather depressing. This entire year was very bad for me. Up to last year I always made it to the finals of every comp I go into; this time I can't even sniff finals, the closest I got was semi-finals. And I only participated in one team event, and we didn't do well either. It's not a question of the lack of practice; I think I put in more hours than most do. I think I expected too much from myself this year and tried to push myself too hard that whatever I tried failed. Learnt a lot along the way about my own weaknesses and how to deal with them. Painful falls, but I hope to learn more.

Skills (out of 10): 8 (coach says my skills have actually improved tremendously, and my learning curve is much faster now)

Progress in the field (out of 10): -5 (yup... it's a negative! I have transgressed as I did very well in 2004)

 

Relationships

Hah! That's another one. A few guys tried to ask me out this year but they're all screwed-up cases. There was this engineer who, after one dinner date with him, started calling me and SMSing every day as if I was his girlfriend already and even got angry that I didn't call him upon my return from a work trip to Bangkok. I was like, HELLO, I've only gone out with you ONCE! And actually, after that dinner, I swore never to see him again because he was dreadfully boring. And then there was this guy who hasn't got a clue on how to woo a girl although he supposedly had a few girlfriends before. That's the main stuff, the other minor ones that happened throughout the year are not even worth mentioning.

Scale (out of 10): 2 (the experiences aren't great, but hey, at least I got to go out)

 

Music

Argh! Another depressing story. I used to pass every electone exam with a distinction, but this time when I went in, the moment I hit the keyboards, I knew I screwed up. It was mostly nerves. And probably underpreparation, even though I practised so hard the previous weeks. I was just not prepared for the exam, which was quite tough. I laid off the electone after the exam. I haven't touched it in 6 months. I still like music very much, but I just don't want to do it academically for a while until I feel ready again.

Scale (out of 10): 3 (I still enjoy it. All I did was screw up the exam)

 

Friendships

Ooh! My best friend has come back from Penang this year so we got to catch up on quite a bit. We go for supper once in a purple moon whenever he comes back (or when I came back for the hols when I was studying in Johor) to catch up. This time he's working in KL so now we can meet up more often. He's definitely one of those I can confide in without fear of judgement.

 

Also, have been getting closer to another wonderful friend's family. I've known this wonderful lady for two years but she has done so much for me, in terms of support, love, friendship, and advice. Her kids are also beautiful treasures who have accepted me as a firm friend to the point of being family. She's another one whom I can talk to about anything and I know I can rely on her sound advice.

 

Managed to catch up with a number of school friends too, through friends' weddings and baby showers, some of whom I barely spoke to when in school but now we meet up quite a bit. Great guys who celebrated my birthday with me. One of them even got me a memorable gift - a photo of us 10 years ago when we first got to know each other on a school trip.

 

On the downside, I hadn't been all that nice to someone who cares a lot for me. I must say that it was mainly my fault and I'm not going to delve into this too much. However I shall say that things are on the mend and I'm going to make up for it.

 

Overall scale (out of 10): 8

 

That brings to a total of.... 22 out of 50. This has been a below-average year! Yech. I hope next year's a lot better.

 

At least I have one additional highlight. I PASSED THE RADIATION PROTECTION FOR OFFICERS EXAMINATIONS! WOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!

 

 

Got to end this properly, right? We've always got to count our blessings. Hmm, where shall I begin...?

1. I'm thankful for the privileges I have in life; that my parents managed to rise to a level of comfort and have always provided whatever I needed. I'm thankful that they brought me up well to be a good person, and to be independent ("I don't need no man to finance my life!"). I'm thankful that they have provided well in terms of home, education, and even beyond the basic necessities. These privileges have given me a good headstart in life and I wouldn't get to where I am (which isn't really very high at the moment, though) now otherwise.
2. I'm thankful that I have five working senses (I don't have 20/20 vision, but at least I can see) to enjoy my life. I'm thankful that I was born intelligent (well, not a genius... but I'm definitely above average. Yes, I'm blowing my own trumpet. Haha!) and that my brain learns quickly (did I say I passed the exam for Radiation Protection Officers?). I'm thankful that I have four functioning limbs which enables me to dance and play the electone. And that no matter how imperfect my body, I'm still better off than a lot of other people (at least I've got CURVES, babe!).
3. I'm thankful for my family and friends who have been very supportive of me no matter how I screw up. I know who my true friends are!
4. I'm thankful that the country I was born and bred in, in spite of its silly politics and downhill economics, is a still relatively comfortable place to be in, and it's peaceful. Here's to racial harmony! Oooh... and that we haven't been struck with any super-major disasters except for the tsunami last year, but we were nowhere near as badly hit as Sumatra, Sri Lanka, and Thailand.

I think that's enough for now.

 

Well... here's to 2006!

Here's an end to 2005...

Today was not all that great a day. It started with my school's orientation
for the new students and the PMR students-going-into-Secondary 4. Oh,
nothing went wrong with the orientation (for me, at least). It's just that
it started with my spilling Milo over my library books (shhhh!!!! Don't tell
the librarians that), and then I lost a cup cover down the drain. It's not
just any cup cover - it's a cover for one of my tea thermos. OK, it's not
actually a thermos, it just about keeps the tea hot for half an hour, and
the cover doesn't actually work. Still....

However, had a bit of excellent news to make up for it... I went for a
radioactivity course last month which was over 2 weeks, ending in an exam.
Passing the exam gives me the right to be a Radiation Protection Officer.
The passing rate is usually quite low, and the exam was quite difficult. I
have somehow lost the ability to "mug" for an exam - I guess it's because
it's been many years since I last studied for an exam. I studied only about
4-5 hours for the paper. And... guess what, the part I didn't study CAME OUT
IN THE PAPER. The part I studied did NOT come out! I had to B.S. my way
through... thank goodness I paid attention during the lectures.

Passing grade is quite high: 70% average for Papers 1 & 2, with a minimum of
60% each; and 70% for Paper 3. I was very confident of Papers 1 & 3, but
Paper 2 was a killer and I worried that I wouldn't get the 60% minimum even
if Paper 1 could bring up the average to above 70%. The results were
supposed to be out weeks after the exam, but there was no news for one
month, even when I used the online checking system. Finally today one of the
guys who went for the same course SMSed me asking my results; so I checked
online again... and .... I PASSED!!!!

Wooo hooooo!!!!! A great end to my year.

Not that quiet Christmas after all

I thought I would have a very quiet Christmas, albeit better than last year... I slept off the entire Christmas weekend last year as I was very sick from fever and cough, and it took about 2-3 weeks just to get better. This year I'm pretty much healthier, but I thought Christmas would past by quietly. I don't really celebrate Christmas as my family aren't Christians, although I occasionally do exchange gifts with friends.

However celebrations came in the form of lunch and dinner with very close friends. On Friday, I had lunch with 2 of my best friends and the family of one of them, including her husband, kids, and mother. I've become a family friend for her, and it's a really wonderful thing for me, because I'm not really used to "family friends" (in my family, we don't really have any). Her three kids are some of the most loving children I've ever met, and what strikes me the most is her youngest. The older two are very loveable as well, but they are more outgoing and have no problems talking to their mother's friends whom they've met for the first time; but the youngest has always been very shy. I remember in the past year whenever I met him, it would take at least one hour for him to get warmed up to me. Although he has met me several times before, he'd still stay away from me, no matter how many times he's cuddled up with me before. Now (perhaps because he's older and not so shy) he 'knows' me the moment I arrive and without undue hesitation he'd climb into my lap. He even considers me as family and in reply to my protest (in jest) that there's no room in his house for me, he said that there's a room they can open just for me.

Then Christmas eve, another dance kaki whom I haven't met for a while called a few of us to her friend's brand-new restaurant to be opened on Boxing Day for food-tasting. The restaurant called Big Boy, is in USJ Taipan, and the food is excellent. Except for some weird-tasting pizzas. But the dessert was very good - flourless chocolate cake with ice-cream. Yum yum yum.

Oh, we didn't do anything crazy or noisy during the lunch or dinner, so it was still a rather quiet Christmas. But it was definitely not uneventful. I like this type of Christmas. Good food with good company, what's there not to like?

1st Perak International Dancesport

I went to Ipoh on a one-day trip yesterday with a friend to watch the 1st Perak International Dancesport which has four different categories of dance: latin, ballroom (standard), line dance and hip hop. The hip hop section alone was worth it... there's a team of four boys called D'Artiz whom we have seen in the past few competitions, whose dancing is SOOO good that they've set a very high level of hip hop which I think no other can reach, at the moment. In fact, they did something really novel yesterday. Aside from the hip hop individual and team open events, they also took part in the Professional Hip Hop Team Showcase event. The difference between this event and the team open event is that they get to use their own piece of music whereas in the team open event, the teams have to use a preselected song chosen by the organiser. They didn't use an existing piece of music, they SANG their own song (although it was chiplaked from other songs... i.e. they took other songs and modified the lyrics a little) in Hokkien. The quality of the recording wasn't great, but their moves were. The song - a medley - basically introduced themselves (you'll hear the words D'Artiz from time to time) as a team and also individually, and questioned whether the people who do hip hop nowadays really know what hip hop is. Of course, they won...

And I saw a few girls who had been winning the line dance individual events the whole of this year participate in the hip hop individual events, and also made it to the finals in this one. I don't know if they won, because I left before prize-giving (the competition was running late; it was supposed to end by midnight, but by 12 the ballroom section still had not even started. And we had a 2-hour drive back home). I'm not their fan... I'm only mentioning this out of jealousy. Hehehe. Well, my time will come...

Oh, and more observations. People who are good at latin are not necessarily good at line dance. While line dance is seen as a "lower" level of dancing compared to latin and ballroom, the standards of line dance has increased tremendously in just 1-2 years, and comprises many different styles, including rise & fall (waltz), cuban, smooth, lilt, funky, and novelty. If the style of line dance happens to be similar to latin, the latin dancers obviously have the upper hand; but watching them do funky is like watching a tennis ball thinking it can do the job better than a pingpong ball in a table tennis game. It's just... something you cringe at.

Lessons learnt during one "family day"

Haaa!!! I've finally got some time to sit here and type some pent-up thoughts.

The past Sunday was the culmination of some observations, as I was involved in a performance for a "family day" of sorts for an MNC. I've learnt that...

... dancers aren't very important to your corporate organisation, even you have planned the events around the dance performances.

... you can tell your performers to come early in the morning and wait for 2 hours before the event starts, and not to worry because you will provide breakfast for them, but you don't really have to keep that promise and after they have arrived, you can tell them to go outside and buy their own breakfast.*

... it's OK to keep your crew and performers (inclusive of dancers and clowns) hungry, long after the public has been fed. And since they're all in the same area, just dump all the food in one area and let them fight among themselves for what little food you've provided. Anyway, it's not like you're providing that little, you are providing second and third rounds. It's not your fault if there is a long delay after the first round.

... you can contract freelance performers, pay them a pitiful amount, give them about one month's notice, make last-minute changes, and expect them to do just as well as international performers who do this for a living.

... you can have many "dance" competitions in the same event. First, blindfold the participants and get them to boogie like mad chickens (The whole idea of a blindfold is to keep them from recognising people who might recognise them). Nevermind that you've already told your performers to hold a mini-dance competition. Since they're coming on second, it makes them look bad that they're having a similar contest.

... the emcee/deejay can come to the event late, even if it's just a one-day event. Don't worry, there will be someone there to fill in for you. The show still must go on, it doesn't matter who starts it.

... 100 people (by pre-registration only) are enough to have a carnival for. It doesn't have to be a very exciting one, just put a few games up under the tents, and get some dancers and clowns to keep them entertained. You can charge per head including the kids... and they'd still pay!

This is arguably one of the worst events I've performed for, what more for an MNC, and as a performer, one of the worst treatments I've received. For the latter, I can't help wondering if it's because we didn't have a very strong and experienced leader though. I'm not saying that we've had a bad leader, but leadership does come with experience. For most of my previous performances, I was with my dance team who was under the management and de facto leadership of my coach who has had more than 18 years' experience as a dancer, teacher, and performer. It is definitely the responsibility of the organiser who contracted the performers to take care of them, and to make sure they are informed about the events and that they are at least fed as promised; but few people know what it's like to be a performer - they think that dancers can perform on the spot (without warming up/without food/straightaway after food/etc). Then the responsibility lies on us to educate them about what we performers need or want so that they are aware of our requirements. Otherwise they're going to roll into one event after another year after year, staying the @$$holes that they are, none the wiser.

Why didn't I step in and plead our cause? Because I'm not the leader here, and I don't want to cut in on someone else's position. ........ OK, OK, I'm also not very experienced. But I'm learning all the time.

* Fortunately our breakfast was paid for by them. It's still a cause for grouse though.

Sun behind my dark clouds

Was feeling very low yesterday. Won't say too much, but to cut a long story
short, something I anticipated happened the way I thought it would even
though I was hoping the outcome would be a more positive one. That's life
for you. You sometimes expect the worst and try to prepare mentally for it,
but when it happens, you're still not as prepared as you thought you were.

On the way to Bangi this morning, for the first time I met a very friendly
toll operator who greeted me with a bright, "Apa khabar?" I was so
surprised I nearly forgot how to reply in BM but I recovered very quickly
with "Khabar baik" and I enquired after him too. I usually smile at
all the toll operators and say thank you when the transaction is over, but
this is the first time a toll operator has preempted me. That's a great way
to perk someone's day up.

Then received an SMS from my mentor about the aforesaid incident which made
me feel loads better. I had done the best that I could, and what happened
was not completely within my control. I can smile now. :)

Syed Abu in Sunway Mas - never going back there again!!

I went for supper with a couple of my friends just now at Syed Abu in Sunway Mas, and we're never going back there again. The service is terrible, the food isn't good, and they tried to con us with the prices. Things listed in the menu were apparently not available; my friend wanted to try something unusual listed in their menu - roti canai nanas - and was told that they only have roti canai pisang and roti canai jagung; they didn't have the other unusual stuff like roti canai durian although it was listed.

 

Never mind. She changed to jagung (which was very bland). Then I ordered nasi goreng ikan masin. Not unusual, right? Surprise, surprise, out of the many types of fried rice there (more than 10 in their menu), they only had 3-4 varieties available. He tried to suggest nasi goreng USA but when I asked what it contained, he mumbled a whole lot of gibberish. He didn't know either, did he.

 

So I ordered nasi goreng ayam which turned out very dry. After eating, when we wanted to pay, we found a lot of prices inconsistent in his written bill. For example, in the menu, the listed price for fried rice with chicken is RM4.50 but he charged me RM5.30; the roti canai jagung came out to RM1.50 instead of RM1.40; and the roti telur bawang as RM1.60 instead of RM1.50. He made the change in the bill for roti canai jagung but for the fried rice, he argued that the chicken given was bigger so it was more expensive; they had no small chicken pieces he said. Then you should have told us, we shot back. You can't just give it to us without telling us. He finally agreed to reduce the price to RM5.00. Then for the the roti telur bawang, he said the menu price is wrong, it should be RM1.60. My friend was quite mad; she said that they had to follow the menu price, and that if they insisted on changing the prices on their whim, she can actually make a police report. It was only with reluctance that he followed the price in the menu.

 

I swear, we're never going back there again.

Bad week...

Haven't been having a good week. It started with my videocamera; last
week I found a consistent error message on my CCD E:61:00, although I
didn't know it was an error message until I called up the tech support.
Had to send it in to the Sony Service Centre (fortunately it's not that
far from my house) and when I dug out the warranty, I found that the
warranty only covers labour charges up to 90 days, although parts, if
need to be replaced, are covered for a year.

Then my car overheated twice in three days which kept me topping its
water up. Remembering my father's reaction to the last time the car was
not working, I took it to the car service centre myself where they found
the water pump leaking (funny, my dad just repaired it a few months
back), so I had to get it changed.

And yesterday, when I wore my contact lenses, I found the left lens
irritating my eye and I had to take it out a few times to give it a good
rinse. And... it tore in my hands. It must have been already starting to
tear which was why it irritated my eye. It's only a disposable (phew!)
but it wasn't reaching the end of the month yet. Anyway, I was in school
when this happened and as I stared at the lens, all I could think of
was, "OK, I have class in half an hour, after which I have another
class... WHEN CAN I GO HOME TO GET MY GLASSES?!?!?!?!" To walk around
half-blind for a few hours is not a very comfortable idea, and it's very
disconcerting to have unfocused vision, with one eye seeing clearly and
the other not. I did manage to get a half-hour break after my first
one-hour class, during which I rushed home. I was already beginning to
get a headache from the odd vision.

I hope nothing else happens...

I end this entry with an excerpt from a song that fits my mood at the moment:

BAD DAY
Daniel Powter

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

Where's their integrity?

I'm quite disgusted. I was at a competition a few weeks back (I won't
mention names here) organized by quite a big company, and while we were
waiting for results, the organizers showed the audience clips of videos
taken from the competition the year before. In that year, my team were
the champions of our category. I watched the entire sequence, which
showed all the different individuals competing in the individual events
(nudged my friend, "Hey, that's you!" and a short while later, it
became, "Hey, that's me!), and then the champion teams in their own
categories. Surprise, surprise... my team was completely neglected. It
was as if my team had never been there in the first place, dancing our
butts out to vie for first place.

I suppose it had been silly of me to expect it, given some political
clash which I'm not even involved in. But I'd have expected more from
such a big company.

I am in shock...

I am in shock. I was right, although I hadn't really believed it. It
hasn't sunk in yet. I'm still in shock.

What the...

I heard a pretty stupid radio ad today. Actually, there are plenty of stupid radio ads, but I heard this for the first time today.

I can't remember it word for word, but it went something like:

"Honey, help me do this IQ test. Where is Malaysia's premier shopping haven?"
"Definitely Seremban 2!"
yadda yadda
"Let's go there now!"

I didn't know IQ tests included knowledge of where a supposed shopping haven is. When I heard it, I was like... wtf???

Don't tell me what to do

I don't like people telling me what to do. I don't mean at work. Of course people will be telling me what to do all the time at work; that's part and parcel of the job. Sometimes it's a necessity.

I'm talking about outside the office; people trying to tell me what to do with my life. If I wanted your advice, I'd have asked you, thank you very much.

I'm quite frustrated at the moment because someone had overridden what I wanted. I'm not going to go into specifics here, but I was supposed to receive something from another person; and that person overrode it and I received it in a different form. I will admit that the person did mean well when the change was made, but now it's upset what I had planned.

Plus, I don't like people telling me what to do. OK, this doesn't technically count as being told what to do; but it falls broadly into that category because it's as if I'm being told that this is a better option for me; without asking me first.

If I wanted your advice, I'd have asked you, thank you very much. And there are very few people whom I trust for good advice, and if you don't hear me asking you, you're not one of them.

Haze!!!

The haze is getting worse. In the morning it's bad, but it gets progressively worse as the hours tick by and by nightfall it's very dense. It always seems to let up by morning, I'm assuming it's because of dew.

Almost all the primary school students are now walking around with face masks. I don't see the secondary school students doing the same though - I assume it's because they think it isn't cool. My own mom scoffed when I suggested wearing a face mask - I bought some yesterday - but then, she works in an air-conditioned building. While I'm lucky enough that my school is air-conditioned, the hallways aren't and the smog still permeates the rooms. There's a heavy smell of smoke tickling throats and noses and asthmatics are using their inhalers a lot more frequently.

I shall take a picture later today - if I remember to - and post it here. This is the worst haze I've ever experienced.

Oops...

I accidentally hit the back of a student's head with a door today. I was at one of my naughtiest classes where the students love to disappear from the room before I come in. One girl was leaning against the open door talking to her friends from another class and ignoring my orders to go into the classroom. So I began to close the door to nudge her in. I think what happened was she resisted the door when it suddenly slipped and hit the back of her head. The worst thing is, it was in front of a bunch of students and two teachers who had chosen to come to speak to me at that moment! She was groaning in pain and I was rubbing her head and I kept telling her to go to the infirmary to get something for it. At first she didn't but finally she did.

 

She went around telling everyone what happened and was even shouting it out loudly when I was leaving the school after hours, and kept saying that she will hold it against me (she's said that many times in the past when I've been pretty sarcastic, so I'm rather immune to that, really). All I said was that she wasn't loud enough. She added that I've caused her brain damage, and my sarcastic reply was ... err ... mean. Well, I'm known for my evil sarcasm... now I'm going to be known as the one who hits students on the head with a door.

Wisdom in its teething stage

My wisdom tooth is forcing its way out and I'm feeling rather miserable now.
The pain started since Thursday but I thought it was only an ulcer then. By
Friday night the inside of my left cheek had swelled up and when I checked
the mirror, I could see more of my wisdom tooth than I did before. The very
same wisdom tooth had bothered me before a few years ago but it was only a
very dull ache that quickly ebbed away. Now it seems it's going to be giving
me a full-blown problem, boo hoo hoo. Now I can eat only on one side of my
mouth, and it hurts whenever I screw my mouth out when gargling or spitting.

All in one week before my competition! I daren't see the dentist now because
I don't want to have an op before the comp, so I'll have to wait until after
the comp. And even so, I won't have the op straightaway, I need to get his
opinion first (and I'll probably go to another dentist after that to get a
second opinion) and then set the date later. That means it might be a good
three weeks from now before it's fixed. I hope the pain doesn't get worse.
It's not really so bad now, but it's the difficulty in using my mouth that's
bothering me.

Sweet Helen has bought me Bonjela. Haven't tried it yet, but I hope it
works.

IS evaluation results are out!

The IS evaluation I took on my birthday are out! My principal announced the results during the staff meeting today after all the important agenda had been covered. At first she told us the pass rates (which I'm not going to announce here because... I'm not going to) and out of which four people got As. And before she announced who got As, she took the liberty of bringing my name as an example of the usage of MS Excel... when I first joined the school, I had to mark five classes' worth of mid-year papers which I tabulated the results in great detail using the spreadsheet program. By accident I showed it to my deputy principal who told me to give a copy to the principal. The principal used it as an example of how I managed to identify the question which brought the students' grades down, and discovered that the topic was not taught by the previous teacher. Anyway, it was obvious after that I had passed, but I didn't expect to get the highest score of 93%.

No, I'm not gloating here. I think nothing of my ability of MS Excel, mainly because it's such an easy program to use, and looking back, although it seemed like a silly subject, I had to do a short course of the software back in university (it covered three software: MS Excel, MS Access and Autolisp), I learnt a lot from it for which I am thankful for because I've been heavily using the programs I learnt eversince. But I'm glad that I passed, because that means I won't be glumped into a boring basic course which I can easily take over as a trainer, and I suppose the IS guys don't hate me enough to spite me by putting me into that basic course. Haha!

Doctor's orders: Stay away from computers

Oh, and my back's giving me a nagging pain. It's smack at my right shoulder blade. The pain started hammering only this morning when I was seated at the school's PTA forum. Had this pain only once before in my life, and that was in third year university; it nagged me for about a week. Friends tried massaging it for me only to have the pain returned the moment the pressure was lifted. Finally went to see the doctor who gave me muscle relaxants and told me to stay off the computer (had been working very hard for months for numerous projects. Which student doesn't?). Fancy that! Have to stop working on doctor's orders... hehehe... of course I ignored his orders but I typed with only one hand, because it was the right one that bothered me. Same thing happening here, but this time today I went for a Thai massage. The masseur was very helpful, she did her best to relieve the pain for me. I think my nerves are all twisted or something. It hurt like hell, but I felt a lot better after that; she even gave me a medicine tablet to take (from Thailand - supposed to be very effective) and told me to take two paracetomol tablets tonight. Already took it, and the pain's still there but it's more out of stiffness rather than the nagging pain I was feeling. Hmm, and here I am typing away at two hands for a blog. I think I've strained my muscles all over again lugging my heavy PC (yes, it's heavier than normal) to and from the computer table and work table to open/remove/add/close the PC for my earlier troubleshooting problems.

Oh, and Harry Potter's 6th book is sitting on my desk. Haven't actually opened it except to cover the hard cover with plastic book wrap. I'm not that mad on Harry Potter anymore, but yes, I pre-ordered the book and bought it. Frankly speaking, I don't mind waiting 6 months for the paperback, but the reason I'm willing to blow close to RM100 on the sequel to the dismal Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is because... I CANNOT STAND THE IDEA OF SOMEONE TELLING ME THE ENDING!!! More than anything, I hate spoilers, whether they're for movies or for books or for stories. I have walked out of a room before when my friends were talking about Sixth Sense which at that time I have yet to watch; and they kept talking about it although I have told them I haven't watched it and to please not talk about it. Of course, just to annoy me they did, so I walked out of the room and sat outside reading the newspaper until they have exhausted their own conversation. I will not hesitate to do the same in any situation, but I don't think I can keep it up for 6 months, especially when now I've got to see a whole bunch of students, probably half of whom are major Potter fans. When I collected the book today (I didn't bother going yesterday which was the book opening day; I'm so not interested in the freebies or the parties), the Popular bookstore gave me a witch's hat made of black sugarpaper; a large wooden chopstick which was supposed to be a wand; a pair of paper spectacles and a large, long thin white candle. Methinks they're all leftovers from the party they had the day before. Honestly didn't know what to do with all of them, so I gave the paper stuff to my younger sister, kept the wand for use at school, and stored the candle with the other candle supplies at home. Right now I'm halfway through Lemony Snicket's sixth book (which is a lot thinner and faster to read than Harry Potter; and IMHO, the whole series is a lot wittier) and Terry Pratchett's Monstrous Regiment (yes, I'm reading two books at once) so I don't foresee myself starting on the Potter brat until probably next week.

In the meantime, it's already 1.30am and I really ought to give my aching back a rest. If the pain is still bad (which I hope it won't be), I'll have to go to the clinic for advice. I wonder if this doctor will also tell me to stay away from computers... what a great way to skip work...

My PC's back!

My PC is finally back!! It started going cranky on me since last week... the
PC kept restarting after a few minutes no matter what I was doing (or not
doing) until Windows finally gave up on me and gave me the blue screen of
death (which I suppose is its equivalent to the finger). On the advice of a
friend who said it might be a BIOS problem, I sent the PC to a computer
dealer (one which I commonly frequented, because they know me, and I trust
them) who said that the power supply was shot and changed it for me and also
reformatted my hard disk - after backing up my data (very important!!!), of
course. However my emails were all lost because he didn't know where it was
kept... seems like I'm one of the rare few weirdos who actually know where
the Outlook Express folders are kept... *sigh*

Anyway, after a couple of days being computerless at home, upon getting my
PC back (which was now a stranger to me, after losing all my programs and
customizations. But fortunately I'm IT-savvy enough to know how to
reconfigure it, hehehe) I tried to reinstall my programs... and to my
dismay, after merely installing 3 software and trying repeatedly to get the
network card recognised (because for some strange reason, the guy at the
computer store unknowingly didn't get it recognised) my computer refused
cooperating with me anymore and Windows froze everytime I started up; I
could only get in at Safe Mode (which is completely useless), no matter how
many System Recoveries I did. I panicked again, because I didn't want the
danger of losing my data again (40GB!!!) and so decided to reformat
the hard disk myself. It is no biggie to me to reformat the hard disk. The
problem was, I needed to back my files up. I could've sent the PC back to
the store, but being rather of a control freak when it comes to my digital
technology, I'd rather do it myself because I would have complete control of
what was actually being installed and what is happening to my computer. The
guy at the store installed a Windows XP SP2 which caused mayhem on my
computer; I didn't know what he actually did, and it made me feel as if I've
lost control over my PC. Yes, yes, I am a control freak, I've already
admitted that earlier :þ

My friend reiterated that it could be a BIOS problem, and said I could
update it myself. Not a problem, really; I knew where to look, because I
have been searching for BIOS updates for months for another friend's
computer which I was trying to patch up a few weeks back. Anyway, for the
sake of my data, I went and bought a new hard disk (was tempted to get a
200GB one, but $$$ rules over desire so I settled for a mere 80GB) and in
Safe Mode, managed to copy everything over. Then I tried to reformat the old
hard disk and problems arose all over again. Over the course of two days I
tried many different CDs - WinXP SP1, WinXP SP2, Win2K but none of them
worked. The computer always froze about the same place - I could never get
past installation at a particular point. Using my brother's PC I managed to
get the latest BIOS update for my computer, and even that had a bit of
problem updating. I followed the website's instructions but it didn't work;
it was supposed to be a bootable floppy disk but my computer refused to boot
from it. Fortunately I knew enough about DOS to work around it (it wouldn't
read the DOS version which was FreeDOS; I had to make a Startup disk from
another PC to load DOS, and after several trials-and-errors managed to run
the EXE file) and updated my BIOS; but to my utter dismay the problem was
not solved.

Trying another approach, I installed Windows 98 and it installed and worked
beautifully; but I've gone beyond the point of settling for a faulty ol'
piece of 7-year-old junky technology, especially when I'm running on a newer
(but getting obsolete) Intel Pentium 4 HT, but the point of the exercise was
to test if my computer would accept any installation to begin with. It did,
so I tried firstly to replace Windows 98 with Windows XP; then just tried to
update it to Windows XP, but both times it failed; and when I tried to
reformat the hard disk (I hated the thought of using FAT32 system instead of
NTFS), nothing worked. It failed at the exact same spots as it did before.
All my work - wasted!

I was just about ready to throw the PC into the can when a thought seized
me... I might be requiring too many drivers. I had added on at least three
additional cards: a network card, a video capture card, and an IEEE card.
Taking out a handy screwdriver (never leave home without it - although in
this came, I AM at home) I took out all the additional items and
tried the Windows XP CD again... and... IT FINALLY WORKED!!!!!!!! So that
was the bloody problem all along!

The reformatting using NTFS and Windows installation finally completed, I
added back the cards together with my new hard disk, and now everything's
golden. Except that I've misplaced my MS Office CD, and I haven't had time
to install anything else other than the vital anti-virus and Internet
connection software. It's 1.10am on a very early Monday morning and I have
to get up for school in little more than 5 hours. I'm so going to die
tomorrow, what more when I've got this PC and the things I have to reinstall
in it haunting my brain.

I wonder how many readers have completely tuned out when reading this entry. Or rather, how many readers finished reading this entry. By the way, special thanks to Ik Choon for his many suggestions and his patience for both answering my frustrated enquiries and listening to my whining gripes - it ain't fun doin' tech support during your off-time, I know :)

A stopped watch may be right twice a day... but it's still pretty useless otherwise

My new watch which I bought in Bangkok in April had stopped sometime last month. Initially I thought it was the battery... I thought maybe the person who sold it to me put in a bad battery. After all, it was only a night market product. Hadn't had time to get the battery changed until today, where I discovered it was not the fault of the battery, but the fault of the watch. Got rather pissed off about that! Now I'm really stuck without a watch, because I don't think I can afford to get a proper one until a few good months later. It's so strange for me to go without a watch, I have been wearing one eversince I was 12. I've been surviving the past few weeks on my handphone. Fortunately my school has clocks everywhere so I can rely on them; and now that they've standardised the timetables of the entire secondary school, the bell goes off at every period change. It's just that when I'm out with friends, it's inconvenient to keep digging for my handphone; I used to be able to discreetly check out the time on my watch if I wanted to see what time it was.

Now all I've got is a shiny metal wrist accessory that looks like a watch. Hmph.

The weekend after...

Ugh... I woke up this morning with a slight chill. I think it's because I
got caught in the rain slightly yesterday (yes, my immunity is that low),
and also possibly because I've had two late nights in a row (slept at 5am
both nights). First night was my birthday celebration followed by a mamak
session thereafter; second night I went for a midnight movie
(Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hilarious!!!) followed by a mamak
session thereafter. I had lots of personal errands to do today, but I
overslept and woke up later than I wanted to. Sigh... Still, I didn't wake
up too late, so I managed to get to The Curve before noon.

Tried to call a friend who's in Amway on the way there because I wanted to
restock on my echinacea, but couldn't get through to her. Had to hope that
my chill didn't get worse.

Bumped into a friend when I was at Tesco's, and ended up having lunch with
her and her kids after I did all my personal shopping. Had full intentions
after that of going home to nap when another friend who was feeling peckish
paged me and so ended up going for another round of drinks... back at The
Curve. I know The Curve and Ikano Power Centre so well now... except of
course that I happen to refer to both as The Curve, to the confusion of
people I talk to. They're the same to me, because I park in one place, and I
just cross the road to the other.

Somehow managed to stave off the impending flu, so I'm feeling not too bad
now. Not sure how I'd feel tomorrow though. I hope I don't get sick, I can't
take a day off work, it will upset my lesson plans for my students.

Just realised that my two birthday celebrations this year have something in
common - in both parties, there are four persons of one gender and one of
another. With my fellow teammates at the studio, there were four girls and
one guy; with my former school friends there were four guys and one girl.
Yeah, I'm the kind who likes to find similarities or pair up logic as much
as I can, I've been like that all my life. I can tell you a lot more silly
little logical sequences I have discovered over the twenty-something years
in my life. I'm good at logic with numbers (not logic with mnemonics; that
needs a lot of general knowledge, something I'm too lazy to equip myself
with) - I once took this supposed IQ quiz in a software form someone had
written and was going around the Internet; but it was all logic with numbers
and shapes, so I think it was a biased IQ test because IQ tests usually
consist of several different types of questions. ANYWAY, I finished the test
under the time given and I scored almost the maximum score. I can't remember
the score now and I don't know where I put the software. I just remembered
that they had a few different scales for the results, and you'd think the
highest on the scale was genius, but mine was above the genius - they
classified me as Extra-terrestrial. Hahaha!!! But of course, this
wasn't a qualified IQ test. If I took any other proper IQ test, I'd fall
into the average category.

Hmph. I think I spoke too soon. I'm sniffing again. Argh!

Birthday!

Had a pretty interesting day today. My day started out at school where I forced a class of Sec 4 students to pay attention a 20-minute lecture, much to their dismay, because none of the other classes had lessons before the KDU college trip. Yes, I'm mean. Of course I'm mean. And that's because I really want them to learn.

Anyway, some of my students had earlier managed to dig out my birthdate from me, and a group of Sec 5 Aristotle students sung Happy Birthday in the hall in at least 3 separate occasions (yes - the same bunch) whenever they see me walking down the hall. Of course they were out to embarrass me... but I think it's sweet all the same ;) Su Yi of 5 Mozart even gave me a hug for my birthday.


The school bus took us to KDU college, where the field trip unfortunately, was boring for most. They started with an inter-school quiz where the first prize was a trip to Australia, and each school were to send 3 representatives (I can't remember how many schools there were today). We initially did pretty well, but our students started faltering towards the end, but they still did pretty good coming out fourth, although they unfortunately didn't win any prizes.


As for the students in the audience group, they were quite supportive at the beginning, but as the quiz dragged on, they started fidgeting, and many got really hungry, so we slowly lost numbers as they disappeared to get food, and most of them wandered around the college, which I thought was the general idea for the field trip today. However I had to stay in the quiz area, and after it was (finally) over, I sat with the students for lunch. There wasn't much opportunity for me to wander around the college (not that I wanted to) as there was not very much time after lunch till the bus came; so I spent the remainder of the time checking out some of the booths which were set up along the college hallways selling trinkets which were mostly girl stuff. Bought lots of butterfly accessories, hehe... of course spent a fair bit.

Oh, and a student from 5 Mozart - Adrian - gave me a Memory Lane bear. He admitted he got it for free, but it's sweet of him all the same.

It's br-- err, students like all of these who make it feel worthwhile to go to school, and I've only been teaching for little more than a month. :) (I'm refering to the ones who gave me birthday songs and wishes and presents, not the ones who resented my 20-minute class)

After we returned to the school, the day at school ended with an IS evaluation which left a bitter taste in my mouth because the IS guy is such a jerk. Was determined not to let that ruin my day.

Spent the rest of the afternoon asleep... that's my usual Friday activity, I catch up on all my lost sleep from the week then.

My birthday ended with dinner with four friends from school - Ik Choon, Jefri, Teik Seng and Jick Yong. We went to TGIF at Section 14, and I hadn't realised until it was too late that I was the only girl... not that it was a problem, of course ;) For the first time though, I didn't get a TGIF birthday song... all I got was the usual stand-on-chair, give-a-speech, blow-candles-from-a-mile away and a normal birthday song business :( But the company was great and I had a really good time.


Jefri gave me a really great gift - a photo of the two of us taken when we were 15, which was really the start of our long and close friendship. Childhood friends are great reminders of what we were like as kids, and they're among some of the most sincere friends we'll have in life (provided we stay friends...).


Well, at least I wasn't spending my birthday alone as I dreaded :) Had a very tiny-scaled treat from Bron earlier in the week, and yesterday a few of my teammates threw a small surprise party during our practice session. Small, cuz usually our team celebrations involve larger numbers. It's silly of me not to have expected it, because my team always makes it a point to celebrate no matter how few there are who will be present (not counting the birthday girl, of course), but I've learnt not to expect anything from my friends so that I won't be disappointed. Whenever it's someone's birthday, I always come equipped with my handycam and digital camera, but this time because it's a surprise birthday for me, I came without my trusty digital memory-recorders. When I first saw Cat come in with the cake (she being the third to arrive after Kobe and me), I was ready to go straight home to take my camera, but fortunately she remembered that her camera phone had an excellent camera and video function inside (Sony Ericsson K750i. Damn cool phone!) so we used that to take pictures. Catherine gave me a lovely set of toiletries from Crabtree & Evelyn, with a tiny purple bear (including Adrian's bear, that's 2 for my total this year, which is a lot to be said since I've never received bears - big or small - before for my birthday), and Barbara gave me a pack of Sally Field's cookies which I would have opened on the spot if we hadn't been too full from the cake. Hui Koon said she'll bring her pressie for me next week since my Friday was already reserved, hehehe. I honestly didn't expect any presents from anyone; cake was usually more than enough for me, so I'm really touched this year.

I can't be getting sick - not now!

I’m losing my voice. I’ve been feeling a bug since last week but I’ve been trying to hold it off. Yesterday I felt really cold and had to wear a jacket to class. Today I’ve nearly lost my voice twice but after much glaring at the students, they kept silent enough for me to teach the lesson. I’m really trying to hold of getting sick – I do not want to get sick tomorrow!!! After tomorrow I don’t mind… if the bug that’s been festering inside me finally breaks lose on Saturday, by all means I’ll let it, but I am not getting sick by tomorrow!

Speaking of tomorrow, I’ve got to KDU college. NO, I’m not looking to enroll there. I’ve got to accompany the brats … err, I mean the adorable children* from my school there. They’re having a field trip there and it is the school’s intention to get our current fifth-formers into KDU college. It makes perfect business sense for the school, since they’re from the same educational group of companies. The field trip is for Australia week at KDU. And no, I have no idea what it’s about. I’m accompanying the students because the school needs some teachers to accompany the br- I mean, the hip young teenagers* to the college, and back. The teachers who are accompanying the students are specifically Secondary 4 & 5 teachers… because the students who are going are Secondary 4 and 5. (Talk about duh!)

So there’s no classes tomorrow. Yay! The only bummer about tomorrow is that upon our return, I have to go straight for an IS evaluation, about Microsoft Excel and Outlook. Yeah, teach me Microsoft Excel. Hmph. But I totally understand why it’s made compulsory – not all teachers are as tech savvy as I am. <conceited smile on face>

I really hope I don’t get sick. I’m going to go home and pump myself up with Vitamin C. I’m all out of Echinacea – of all the luck!!!

*To my students who are reading this: yes, I was being sarcastic, you br-… err, I mean you wonderful students of mine ;)

It's finally over... at least, i hope it is

After being under SMS siege for two weeks, it's finally over. My God, has it only been two weeks? It ended with an email explaining his actions and apparently to request for clarification, although I can read in every line that he's implying it's my fault; that it's my fault, for the silence on my part, for ignoring his SMSes and calls. You'd think one would be smart enough to get the hint, but noooo.

I wrote back, my email laced with sarcasm, but with enough honesty to express my annoyance and to get my point across. I told him that it was incorrect of him to say that the "relationship ended on a sour, bad note" when there was no relationship to begin with; I told him that you don't bombard a friend you've just met with SMSes and it was totally the wrong way to go after a girl; and I certainly did not expect to have to report to him on my return from an overseas work-related trip. The emails contain much more, but I think this will suffice to cure your curiousity for now.

I have received a genial reply from him, trying to make everything end on a "sweet" note. I didn't bother to reply that one. No point dragging the whole issue out unnecessarily longer than it already is.

I know I'm not too clear about the whole thing, but I have clearly documented and chronicled the entire case which I might someday display here. I might, I might not. You'll have to wait and see. It is enough I think, for now, to say that it's a guy I had only met twice in my entire life (including that one dinner which he thinks is my commitment-binding contract to him; the first being a work-related appointment at the company he works in) and I hope to never meet again. The two weeks of SMSes contained personal questions with regards to my age and my home address; SMSes asking if I was angry about the numerous SMes received; asking why I don't reply; etc. I go out for one dinner and suddenly he thinks I'm his girlfriend. To reject him nicely - and for good - on a friend's suggestion I concocted some story about my ex being back in town and he then asked me to choose between him and my ex. I mean, who does he think he is?? He sent me a rather unpleasant SMS saying that that's the end of it (end of what? We had nothing going on in the first place), but that was followed closely by the emails.

A friend said that "he is obviously in love" with me - obsessed is the more correct term to use, really. Another called him "psychotically possessive". I shudder to think what his (future) girlfriend(s)/wife (if any) would be put through. He might be a nice person, but this whole episode certainly does not put him in a good light. I personally want nothing more to do with him.

I've learnt my lesson (that is, to never go out with pyschotically possessive men who are obsessively in love with me). I hope he has learnt his.

Fathead!

Are some guys just so thick that they don't get it when a girl isn't interested? I went out with one date on this guy and he starts SMSing and calling every day like mad. And when I ignore those SMSes and calls he starts sending me pathetic SMSes asking if I'm angry or annoyed and starts begging me to tell him why I'm not replying. Isn't it very obvious that I am so not interested? For Christ's sake, we've only just met, we weren't even friends to begin with. It's like, one yes to dinner seems to mean to him that I'm already his girlfriend. Pathetic doesn't even begin to describe what he's like!

Fed Up

I am so fucking fed up. The car which I'm driving (an old one of my mum's which I've been using since I started working) has been giving problems. The latest one is where it just won't start. It first started last week when I was leaving the office, but after a few tries it finally started. The second one was worse - last Friday, after a demo at a customer's place, I couldn't start the car to go home. Luckily there was a guy from a partner company who was there with me and he tried to help me but the car refused to start after trying for half an hour. So I had to leave the car there and he sent me to a convenient LRT station - I had to go back and get the car the next day; and it started without problem that morning.

On and off it has been like this, most of the times when I want to leave the house. Then it happened again today after a demo at an office not too far from my house. I had to postpone a lot of plans because it wouldn't start although I kept trying for a good hour. My friend came to take me for lunch after that hour of trying, and when I came back after another hour, then it started up as good.

My father (who does the car-fixing at home) doesn't believe me when I said the car won't start. He even asked my mom to ask me if I had it in the right gear when I tried the car. He sarcastically said that "10 times out of 10, it starts" when he tries. He even tried it just now after dinner - "starts on each time I try" when he tried it out 4 times. That is so fucking brilliant. If it starts the first time, of course it will start every stupid subsequent time you try. Why don't you try it every few hours, then come back and tell me it doesn't start. I was so upset I snapped at my mom - the wrong person. Well I can't snap at my dad if he doesn't talk to me and only passes the message through my mom. I apologised of course, but I nearly cried when I told her how upset I was because it's like my father thinks I'm lying. Why the fuck would I lie about this kind of thing? Or am I that stupid that I can't even figure out which gear to put the car in to start, even though I've been driving that very car for the past 4 years?

A hungry rabbit at our doorstep

For the first time today, I saw a rabbit in my compound. No, it's not the first time I saw a rabbit per se; it's the first time I saw a rabbit in my compound. My brother was the one who told me about it, as he saw the rabbit sitting in our porch.

 

We didn't know where it came from. I went over to pick it up, although it had a rather lame attempt to run away. But in my hands it barely moved. I didn't know if it was someone's pet (it most likely was). My brother suggested putting it outside the gate, but I couldn't help thinking that a cat might get at it (as it had eaten a friend's rabbit before).

 

I asked him to find a cardboard box, but no success. I thought that we could leave it at a friend's office, where she also has rabbits. Then we were told by my father's staff (who works at my father's office in the back of our house) that it belonged to our neighbour, whom we hadn't spoken to for about 20 years. It might be hungry, she said. It often comes over. Sometimes the maid feeds it carrots.

 

Oh, I replied. I hadn't known. So I put it down so that it could go home if it wanted to. It didn't. It settled itself comfortably next to our shoe rack outside the house, and it was still there when I left the house. It didn't look deprived enough - it wasn't chubby, but it wasn't bone-thin either. Perhaps it wasn't hungry at the moment. It might have been smart enough to forage for food - sometimes there are bits we throw out in the garden to decompose. Or maybe it has been 'weeding' our garden for us.

 

My brother said that the neighbours had already moved. I hadn't even known. I peeked over the fence and true enough, the lawns were quite empty of the things they used to keep there, save for a few rusty pieces of junk. But there were still a couple of their luxury cars. Perhaps they were driving the cars over to their new homes a few at a time on a daily basis. They have that many cars.

 

What moved me the most was that I was told the rabbit was sometimes hungry. How could anyone have a pet and not feed it? In fact... how could anyone not even take proper care of the rabbit, to the point that it can escape and cross over the neighbour's fence? True, it was domestic enough and probably smart enough to go home. But that was besides the point.

 

It had apparently been around a while. My father said that there had been a rabbit hanging around the cars, although he hadn't said for how long.

 

I swore to myself that if the rabbit was still there when I got home, I will take it and keep it. The first thing I'd have to do is probably take it to the vet to see if the necessary has been done for it. I have to admit, the expenditure flitted across my mind too - I have barely enough to pay for my own bills.

 

I'm disgusted by their lackadaisical attitude. You don't keep a pet and not take care of it. I know they don't even treat their maids properly - quite a number had run away from them before. They won't let the maid eat enough. Even if they have leftovers, they throw it away instead of letting the maid eat her fill. No wonder animals are running away too.

 

Is it anything to be wondered at that we haven't spoken to them in 20 years?

Documented youth

Last weekend a group of my school friends and I gathered at a friend's
house. These gatherings are rare; we usually meet only once every few
months. However this gathering came at the heels of a recent one we had when
we met up during Chinese New Year. I had somehow initiated the latest one -
when I had a tape converted from VHS to VCD.

When we were 16/17, my dad had bought a digital videocamera which I brought
along for fun to record ourselves. I saved it all into a dedicated
videotape, but early last year when I dug it out I found the tape speckled
with white fungus, and I didn't dare plug it into my VCR for fear of
contaminating it. It was then left lying around for a while, although I was
dying to watch it. I couldn't remember what exactly it contained, but I knew
that it would be fun to watch.

Even though late last year I had bought a video capture card (to convert
analog to digital - for that very same digital videocamera my father bought
years ago), I still couldn't convert the tape in question because (1) of the
fungus, and (2) my VCR was already spoilt, although not by the fungus in
that tape. I never knew where to get it converted though - I never saw any
signs on any shops that indicated these services offered.

When I started getting very involved in video editing (especially for my
dance team videos), I remembered that tape and dug it out again. This time I
vaguely remembered seeing a counter in U@Parkson that did display a
sign stating they had video conversion services. The next time I went to One
Utama, I walked around the store, but the counter was no longer in sight.
Upon asking one of the staff there, I found out that the service had been
discontinued.

Disappointment! But anyway while I was there, I wanted to find out the price
of a new battery for that ancient videocamera I had, so I threaded my way
over to some of the electronics shops. While enquiring, on a whim I asked if
they had video conversion services... and they did! Pretty pricey though -
RM45 per tape! I could've done it myself with my own video capture card, but
having no VCR was a big obstacle. And I figured that at that price, I might
as well let the shop deal with the fungus.

The conversion came out quite well, into two VCDs. I didn't know that there
was a movie attached to the end, and that came out into the VCD as well.
Somehow they didn't split the sequence properly when it was time to go into
the second VCD, and it was smack in the middle of one of our own
self-recordings. Fortunately there was a second recording of the same
sequence in the tape - I think that back then, I was quite fussy about the
order of the recordings in the analog tape, and had rerecorded the scenes
several times on the same tape. Using a little bit of video editing, I
managed to combine the sequence into one uninterrupted video, and then saved
all the relevant videos into one VCD on its own.

So it was on a Saturday night that my friends and I gathered to watch the
VCD. And boy, we couldn't stop laughing! The first video was a recording of
our play rehearsal at another girl's house. It wasn't the whole play though;
only the ending, but it was hilarious enough. The play in itself wasn't a
comedy - it was actually a tragedy. What we were laughing at is our own
overacting, and some of the silly things each of us did for fun during the
play - we obviously weren't taking the rehearsals seriously! Back then in
Form 5, this play was for an inter-class competition, which we won, and had
to perform in front of the entire school. It was nothing great, we weren't
all that good actors, but it was fun back then.

The second video was a recording of a New Year's Eve party. We were playing
a modified version of past-the-parcel... each layer of wrapping had a 'task'
we had to do. Sort of like the 'dare' part of a 'truth or dare' game.
Everyone in the party had already prepared papers with the tasks, and when
we had arrived at the house, we merely wrapped the parcel with the papers we
had prepared. Some disgusting tasks did surface, some nonsensical, some
lame. The night had finished off with a game one of the guys prepared: a
'fashion modeling' show, with the rest of us teamed up by pairs. There was
even a prize-giving session, which my partner and I won.

And I was sitting there, not remembering a single bit of the party, not even
remembering what prize I won!

The third video was a recording of a combined birthday party of two of our
friends, plus a surprise going-away for me as I was leaving for uni soon
after that. This recording was not so funny, but it was nice to see
ourselves back then. There were several camera-shy people, who often covered
their faces or turned their backs when the camera lens flashed onto them.
Others just continued being themselves without thought.

It was watching this VCD that made me realise how wonderful it is to have
our memories documented. My friends, like me, couldn't remember some of the
things that had happened during the parties. Memory is a wonderful thing,
but sometimes we are reduced to remembering only the general thing about an
event, instead of the individual happenings in an event. That was why, after
that, I was determined that from now on I will bring my videocamera to every
occasion - you never know when these memories will be wonderful to watch
again.

And I'm not talking about that ancient relic of a videocamera I have, even
though I had bought a new battery for it - I had recently purchased a
brand-new digital videocamera with a 3.5" CCD screen that will be so much
easier to handle!

That night we played Cranium, which was a brand-new board game one of my
friends bought. It's a combination of Pictionary, Charades, Trivia, and a
whole lot more. We only recorded the first half until I ran out of tape, but
when I watched it later, although it was not hilariously funny, it was still
nice to watch. I was only sorry that we didn't record the later half,
because (according to my undocumented memory) some of the funnier things
happened later.

A long Chinese New Year lunch

I had the longest official lunch hour ever today. My boss took all of us for
lunch at the Ah Yat Abalone Restaurant in Swiss Garden Hotel, Jalan Pudu.
Those of us in the office piled into her car at about 12.40pm where we first
went to Hospital UKM because she wanted to drop off a health drink for her
mother who had suffered a stroke. Then battling the jam back to Jalan Pudu
to the hotel, where we found two other colleagues (part-timers) already
waiting there for us, and we were joined shortly by another guy (who's
actually working for my boss' brother but often hangs out at our office - my
boss wants him to help out with the technical stuff in our office as well,
with his boss' concession).

We started out with some yee sang, which was quite nice, which says a lot
because I don't like yee sang or lo sang actually. Everytime I eat with my
family or friends, it's only one mouthful just to keep the old folks happy.

We were served a course of lunch, each item already separated into 7
bowls/plates. My boss didn't eat any of the courses because she said she had
eaten too much of these kinds of food, and ordered a big plate of fried
rice, of which she only ate less than half. For the rest of us, we had: a
plate of pastry stuffed with prawn meat (I don't know what you call it, but
apparently it's the specialty of the restaurant); a clapot bowl of shark's
fin (at least that's what my boss said; but I didn't see any shark's fin,
thankfully. I only saw and ate vegetable-like things); abalone + mushroom +
one goose foot (my boss called it a "goose web" because of the webbed feet;
a specialty imported from Hong Kong which cannot be found anywhere else, as
the chef here is from Hong Kong. One lady colleague refused to try, and the
other girl shared one foot with me. One of the guys called it a Fear Factor
challenge. It really looked weird, especially when it was covered with brown
sauce); some roasted duck meat; siew bak choy with a bitter-tasting sauce
(couldn't eat more than a mouthful, it was not nice at all); lo mai kai
(again only a mouthful - too dry and tasteless); and finished off with
stuffed tong yun in peanut sauce (which the same guy colleague calling it
Dragonballz).

I don't know how much it came up to, but I know it was very expensive. I
heard the figure '9' somewhere, but I don't know if it was in '900+' for
everything or '90+' per person. Goes to show how often I go for these meals
or how often I pay, eh? Zilch! I don't know what the usual cost is like!

Lunch had only started about 1.30pm, and we sat there until about 3pm. On
the way back we stopped at another place for my boss to buy something, and
by the time we reached office it was 4pm.

Now dreadfully sleepy, especially given the hot weather and the car
air-conditioner not working; plus having to wait in the car for a long while
in the sun at the hospital and the trip back as well as getting stuck in a
jam. I'm waiting for 6 o' clock so I can go home and nap before jazz
tonight...

A grotesque thought

A grotesque riddle came to my head. I heard this years ago, and for some
reason it flitted into my mind again.

Q: You and a friend are running away from a man-eating cheetah.
You know you can't outrun the cheetah. How do you ensure your
survival?

When I first heard the question, silly things came into my head, like
climbing a tree or something that didn't involve running. I didn't get the
answer right, of course. And the answer is pretty sick.

A: Trip your friend up.

After lunch notes

Ooh, now I remember. That movie was How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. I
still don't know how to spell the lead actor's surname though. It goes to
show how much he means to me.

Lunch musings

Today is a holiday for Selangor. Unfortunately my office is in KL, so I still had to go to work. Bummer. I was the only one in the house who needed to. The only consolation I had was that next Tuesday was a holiday for KL.

I remembered that it was a Selangor holiday, but forgot how it might affect the traffic. The roads were jammed as I made my way to Jusco Maluri for lunch. And surprise, surprise, Jusco Maluri was packed ... and then I remembered that it's possible a majority of the people here worked in Selangor. Normally the open car park would be empty but for a few cars; now there was not a single empty space, forcing me to go upstairs and hunt for an available space.

At McDonald's, I was served by a young man whose eyebrows were trimmed and eyelashes seemed touched up by mascara. The seating areas were filled with families and teenagers; the only working people here, aside from me, are the few who worked in Jusco Maluri itself. To my utmost surprise, I saw a housefly buzzing as it attempted to get to my food. But I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised; I was seated at the back near the janitor room, and I guess the crowd in the enclosed area is enough to heat up the room and give the insects some energy to fly. I don't see the housefly anymore, but there is a tiny trash-fly bothering me now.

Is it me, or have the burgers shrunk? I complained the other day of the size
of KFC's OR Fillet Burger. My Fillet-O-Fish today is about the same size
now. It is literally the size of the palm of one hand. I don't think it's me
who has grown, so that means the burgers are shrinking. Either that, or they're actually serving burgers in accordance to the size of the McValue meal.
If the one I had was a Medium, I wonder how the size of a Small would be. I
could probably finish it in two bites. That's probably why they've removed all
Small McValue meals from the menu.

Ooh, that reminds me of what a friend once asked. In all honesty, she actually asked a group of us: "If there is a Big Mac, would there be a Medium Mac or a Small Mac?" I think I need not say more.

The fries don't taste good anymore either. Or maybe I'm just getting sick of the taste of French Fries. Or both. They taste OK when hot, but after a few minutes when they've cooled down, the taste is kinda yucky. I suppose it is possible to tire of heavily salted deep-fried potato-and-flour mixtures. After all, I'm sick to death of the taste of Redoxon's Vitamin C solubles which I liked in the first place, to the point where I won't buy anymore for a long time.

There are still kids at school today; I see parents coming in with their children still clad in their primary school uniform. There's a girl who's sitting and eating quietly while enjoying time with her mother and what looks like her mother's friend; and then there are boys who won't sit still and are jumping up and down with their shirts all untucked and pants almost falling off them. There is obvious truth in the saying that girls are easier to bring up than boys.

That tiny fly keeps hovering around my head, and I don't know why. I've just washed my hair last night, so it's not me. Maybe it's longing to swoop down on my unfinished fries. I don't see what's stopping it, since I'm not touching the fries anymore.

By the way, has anyone noticed the irony in Carly Simon's song, You're So Vain? What do you mean you don't know it? Of course you do. I know it's an old song but they did sing it recently in that lame chick flick of 2003 called ...
gosh, I can't even remember what the name is. It's the one with Matthew McConaughy (is that how you spell it?) and Kate Hudson. Anyway, about the song, the chorus goes:

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I bet you think this song is about you
Don't you, don't you

Which is extremely ironic, given that the song is about the person in question.

I'm going to end this muse with that thought.

Bored thoughts on a Monday

There's a karaoke lounge in the connecting block on the floor below us. I've
always passed it and seen people singing in it... in the afternoon. It's a
really small room, taking up only one office lot which is probably about
20x18'. This afternoon as I was walking by, there was a woman preparing to
sing on the stage with two men watching her. The room is only separated from
the hall with glass doors covered up with posters. There isn't even a
curtain, so anyone could see right in. I suppose it's possible that it's
just a completely harmless karaoke session. But in the afternoon? Don't
these people need to work?

Tomorrow is a holiday. Not for me though, as my office is in KL. My past two
jobs followed Selangor holidays, which were more than KL holidays. So
tomorrow KL is going to be jammed with people on a break who want to catch
up on their official issues with the government agencies or banks.

My right shoulder still hasn't recovered from the sunburnt on Saturday. I
had gone with Helen to Cyberview Lodge where Bronya was staying with her
family, and I played in the pool most of the day with the kids. The end
result: my two shoulders got burnt, and my nose too. However my nose seems
to have recovered, and my left shoulder is OK too. It's just my right
shoulder now. I've been consistently rubbing lotion into the burnt areas
since yesterday. I'm reduced to wearing spaghetti straps (yes, even for
work - thank goodness for blazers for a professional look), with the right
strap dropped off the shoulder as the friction irritates the skin. And what
more, I always carry my handbag on my right shoulder, so now I have to
adjust to carrying it on my left shoulder.

Sigh...

The shopping bore

Today one of my colleagues was on leave, so after lunch, the other girl wanted to go shopping and just accompanied her. She was looking at all the different skirts and dresses and kept asking me to try on, but I declined as much as I could. I generally don't look good in skirts, but the main reason I refused was because... I was broke, and I didn't want to try on something I really liked only to not be able to afford it. I suppose she must have thought me a real bore and no fun to go on shopping trips with. She tried a dress on and bought it. Sigh. But in the first place, I was never one who liked shopping or window-shopping. In the past few years, all the new clothes I bought (and I literally mean all) were purchased simply because I happened to be in a clothes department with friends or with my sister, and they saw something nice that would fit me and made me go try it on. And then because I look so good in it, out comes my credit card.

Sigh...

Bets and Gambles

I was having lunch with my colleagues today when an Indian man selling the
lottery tickets approached our table. This scene was not unusual, not was it
illegal.

I think what caught me by surprise was the amount of tickets my colleagues
bought. I don't think it's wrong to buy; I bought 2 tickets myself. I buy
lottery tickets for fun, not in vain hope of striking a million ringgit.

I remember there was once someone who expressed her disdain of people who
spent so much money on lottery tickets; up to RM50 a week. I've never
personally met anyone like that, because even the people I know who buy
tickets only buy one or two at a time. I finally saw someone like that
today.

One of my colleagues was buying on behalf of her father; she wanted to claim
the end stub which had struck a matching number, so the Indian man said she
can have four free. So in addition that four, she bought ten tickets with
sequential numbers.

Another two colleagues bought 2-3; and yet one more also bought about 3
leaving only just enough money in his wallet to pay for his lunch.

Incidentally, the night before, another group of friends had just spoken
about the addiction of gambling; people who pump money into machines, and
running out of cash, would put them on their credit cards, or getting into
ridiculous debts with loan sharks.

As I was sitting there watching money change hands for the fourteen lottery
tickets, I couldn't help thinking that winning RM12 was pointless, if it was
going back into buying useless lottery tickets. It's like you never won
anything in the first place.

The corporate disillusionment

Is this what it has come down to? Another dreary mind-numbing day running on
autopilot?

My brother is in his second week of his holiday job as a data entry clerk
and already he dreads going to work. It took me about one year to get there
when I first started working after graduation. Perhaps it took me that long
because in that first year, I was too busy learning things I thought were
interesting at that time; things like software applications.

I have changed jobs twice since that first job. The first was the longest -
I was there for more than two years. The second one took eight months. This
third one has been six and a half months, and counting. And the way I'm
counting is exactly the way a prisoner cuts a groove into the wall as he
waits for the day he gets to see the sun again.

I never thought I would get to this. When I was in my teen years, I always
imagined myself to be in a high-flying position, mingling amongst the
corporate people in their identical suits and matching briefcases. I was
even conceited enough to think that I would be one of those brilliant ones,
one of those young promising ones, one of those who would be at the finish
line of the rat race first.

Now look at me.

Thinking back on my ambitions as a child, my dreams were not always like
that. Eversince I could remember, until the age of 15, I wanted to be a
teacher. I wanted to share knowledge and groom young ones to fulfill their
potential and be all they could be. Every year, when we were asked to fill
in our ambitions in descending order, my numbers two and three changed, but
my number one never wavered. I was the only one in my entire class for years
to want to be a teacher.

Then money sense kicked in at sixteen, and I changed my ambition to
engineer. Everyone knows teachers can't make money. Engineers can. That was
the idea in the nineties, during the tiger years of the Asian economy. Plus,
I was great at science, with Physics being my best.

I'm trying to remember now when the visions of being a corporate woman
floated in my head. Teachers and engineers don't quite exactly fit the
picture of high-flying suits and briefcases, right? But I remember that
vision clearly. Perhaps watching all those TV shows painted pictures in my
head. Actual ambitions aside, it must have seemed so cool to be one of them
yuppies.

Three years after graduation and three jobs later, I'm sitting in a small
office with three high school graduates about my age, wearing a boring
combination of a dark blue blouse and unflattering black pants, complete
with a pair of black moccasins. I've come to dislike everything about my
job. I dislike the people, I hate the office, and I dread my work. When I
took up this job, I took it with big hopes and bright eyes, the way I did
whenever I started a new job. But wait two months down the line, the hopes
have died and the eyes have dimmed. It's come to the point where I regret
coming back to the CAD line, even though I'm good at it (although I suck in
sales).

Now I'm completely disillusioned, hating the corporate world, with no desire
to climb up the ladder or to finish the rat race. My boss is breathing down
my neck as she has her own pressures and questions to answer to the
principal companies. One job ago, I was foolish enough to dream of having my
own company, a dream I had harboured eversince I was sixteen. Now, watching
the companies I have been in, and hearing stories from my own friends who
have their own companies, I have lost all desire to open a business of my
own. I see how they struggle to pay their employees and make ends meet. I
see how they (more specifically, my boss) are bullied by the principals to
keep stock of the products (that are tens of thousands each, mind you), and
they do it because they need the support of the principals.

I hear stories of how people in their bid to get more money, sacrifice
health and relationships just to get more deals. I hear of how some
companies are making losses because of the amount spent on 'entertainment'.
In my naive, innocent self, I hoped I would never get to that, because I
like who I am; an honest, uncorrupted, trusting individual. That would
probably mean I would never be rich either, but then, money isn't
everything.

I'm thinking and looking for a way out of this now, but it isn't easy. I
still need the money, and I need to run on autopilot for probably another
year and half. Another eighteen months of mindless boredom and a dead
spirit. I suppose I'm the lucky one. I have parents who can provide well,
and I have absolutely no dependents, just some commitments. I can put a
timeframe because that's when I expect to get my full qualifications in my
electone organ course, after which I can start to teach. There is no
guarantee that I can pass on my first attempt, of course; and no guarantee
my music school will take me in. But that's my alternative, and that amount
of time is the minimum I require.

I am actually waiting for news from my principal company about a job. They
have a vacancy which I submitted my resume for, and I think my chances are
good. They may not take me, of course. And even if they do, I no longer have
big hopes and bright eyes, although my friends do, for me. This job would
promise a lot more opportunities, a lot of traveling, and of course a lot
more money.

But perhaps I might be happier teaching.

Who wants to insure a RM3.30 burger?

When the widespread blackout happened on 13th January 2005, I was in Jusco
Maluri planning to have lunch. After hearing the ads of the much-touted OR
Fillet burger, I decided to go over to KFC and see what was so great about
it that the guy on the radio ad wanted to insure it.

The first thing that came to my mind was how small it was... it just about
fit into the palm of my hand. And after I bit into it, the next thing that
came to my mind was how normal it was... nothing special about it at all!
Needless to say, I was sadly disappointed. Not that KFC has every lived up
to its hype, anyway.

Geez, and there wasn't even a toy for me to collect with the meal.

Start to a brand new year!

Yes! The blog is back. Well, right now I'm too tired to write anything,
though I've got lots of things I'd like to post. Stay tuned.